Lonely Girl
by ScarredSkull
Summary: Songfic. This is a repost, deleted the first time I posted it. Mistakes. Mistakes everywhere. A life full of sorrow and regret. Just how do a little girl and a best friend turn that all around? RobRae.


My first songfic. It doesn't exactly mirror the lyrics, and is a love story. It took me longer than any chapter I've ever written. It's also longer than any chapter I've written, hitting 4,147 words. Wow. Enjoy.

_words in italics- _lyrics

**words in bold- **the day it is

words in normal- the story

Words underlined- the song title and artist name

* * *

Lonely Girl - P!nk

**January 15th, 2006**

Rachel sat under the bleachers, tears sliding down her cheeks.  
Stupid people.  
Stupid Richard's stupid friends.  
Her best friend, Richard, had made her meet his friends. She was that quiet, nose-in-a-book girl that dressed in black, and three weeks ago dyed her hair dark purple. Robin decided to finally introduce her to his friends. Her and Richard had been great friends for years- he just kept her away from them. They didn't exactly like her. Victor had always been nice to her, helping her pick up fallen things, smiling at her in the hallway, he was almost like a big brother. Kori Anders seemed nice enough, if a bit loud and really odd. She was always trying to fit in, but was never mean to people. Just kinda watched as Garfield bullied people. Garfield. He was such a pompous bastard. Rachel wasn't sure how people like Richard, Victor, and Kori hung out with him. His girlfriend, Tara, had the same personality as him. The four, Tara, Kori, Garfield, and Victor were Richard's friends. Richard was always talking about Rachel to them- Never used her name, or what she looked like. But it was made clear that they were best friends, and the group even made fun of Richard sometimes, wanting to meet this seemingly-amazing girl. Richard talked her into it. To meeting them. So she did. Victor was surprised, but smiled at her, shook her hand, was nice. Kori hugged her, was beaming like no tomorrow, and asked if she could also be her friend. Then Garfield and Tara stepped in.

"The purple-haired loser is your best friend? Are you kidding me, Dick?" Garfield laughed. "Who knew that you could make a loser sound so cool."

"Dick, why her? Even that crazy girl with pink hair in the back of english would've been better. This chick is a loser with books for friends." Tara laughed along with her boyfriend. Before Richard could even turn to apologize for his retarded friends to Rachel, she was gone, running down the hallway. Had she turned back before turning and bursting out the doors to the outside, she would have seen Richard punch Garfield in the nose. She ran across the parking lot, and across the football field to the far bleachers. She wouldn't be seen. And it wouldn't be her first time cutting class, either. After a while, she wiped away the tears with the sleeve of her blue sweatshirt, shoving the pain out of her mind, blocking the stupid memories. She would have to go back to school soon. She ignored Richard for the rest of the day. And Victor, and Kori, who both tried to talk to her.

_I can remember the very first time I cried_

_How I wiped my eyes and buried the pain inside_

_All of my memories - good and bad - that's past_

_Didn't even take the time to realize_

**January 15th, 2009**

She needed to stop thinking about that day. The day she'd made a fatal mistake. The day she pushed Richard away, the only friend she knew. The day they stopped being friends. It was all her fault, really. Calls, texts, him even coming to her door, throwing rocks at her windows. She ignored him, until he gave up. And that was a full year later. Now, every January 15th, the day it happened, she remembered that day, and wallowed in hatred for herself. That day had been three years ago, senior year of high school. Now her only friend was a girl named Toni, a pale girl with frizzy black hair and dyed red bangs. Rachel had decided to keep her dark violet hair, she liked how it matched her amethyst eyes. Currently lying under her bed, staring at a random crack in the blue wall of her college dorm, she flicked open a pocket knife. She lived for the music she wrote, thats why she was going to a music college. She gently watched the blade glint in the darkness, when the edge of her sheets flipped up, exposing her.

"Rachel, get your ass out from under that bed. Yes, I'm aware it's that day, that's why we're going to go get something to eat. You can't wallow under your bed and cut your wrists like the past two years. And Maybe THIS TIME, you'll call him." Toni says, literally pulling the upset girl out from under her bed.

"Toni, I just want it to end."

"Hun, it'll be okay. Let's go get some dinner." Toni smiles, gently pulling Rachel after her to eat dinner.

_Starin' at the cracks in the walls_

_'cause I'm waiting for it all to come to an end_

_Still I curl up right under the bed_

_'cause it's takin' over my head all over again_

**March 3rd, 2010**

Rachel was at work, at a bar. She was usually the stage performance, but tonight she was bartending, and a cool band was performing. It was a normal March night, until a woman with platinum blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and dressed entirely in pink walked over. Rachel blinked at the girl as she sat down.

"Hello." She greeted her.

"Hi." Rachel said shortly. The woman ordered a drink, and when Rachel brought it to her, she took a huge swig.

"You know, your life must be awesome." The woman said. "My high school sweetheart, my fiance, just ran out on me."

"Awesome?" Rachel snorts, as she cleans out a mug. "Hardly. Four years ago I lost my only friend. My best friend. I've never had much money, I come from a broken home, and graduated from a music college. I live for my music, and I'm stuck playing in this bar. I only have one friend, that I made during college. She got famous, and she wants to help me gain my fame, but I won't let her."

"Well, I'm flat broke. My fiance's left me, and my friends and I never stayed close after senior year. Well actually, I kinda floated away from the group I hung with, after my boyfriend and I made a huge mistake. I went to a bad college, and I worked at a boring job at a bank I've recently been fired from. Actually, that's why my fiance left me."

"Well, I must admit, your life isn't as good as I thought it was. I'm Rachel, by the way."

"R-Rachel? Oh my god, I thought you looked familiar!"

"What are you talking about?" Rachel raises an eyebrow. Had she been paying attention, Rachel would've noticed that this woman bore a strong resemblance to the girl who just about ruined her life.

"Tara?" Rachel blinked. She nodded.

"Yeah. My fiance, was Garfield."

"You two ruined my life." She blurted out suddenly.

"Huh?" Tara looked surprised.

"After you and Garfield made fun of me, I ignored Richard because I thought he was still friends with you two."

"Oh my god... Rachel, after you left, Richard broke Gar's nose because he was so mad! And then we stopped talking to him, Kori, and Victor."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Oh Rachel, I am so sorry. I know I was a bitch... I just wanted Gar to like me. Now I know he's just an asshole. After I spent five years with him. At least we're still young."

"I guess.."

"Rachel, do you have money? Did you graduate college? Do you have friends?"

"Well, I recently graduated from my music college... I have enough money to get by... I have Toni."

"You want to know what I hear? You have a good education, you fend well enough for yourself, and you have someone that loves you."

"I suppose you're right." Rachel says, as Tara gets up, pays, and leaves. Who knew the girl who broke her would shed some light on her life. Looking at the cash payment on the bar, Rachel notices a white slip of paper with a number on it. Shoving it into her pocket, Rachel wonders why Tara gave her her number.

_Do you even know who you are?_

_I guess I'm tryin' to find_

_A borrowed dream or a superstar?_

_I want to be a star_

_Is life good to you or is it bad?_

_I can't tell anymore_

_Do you even know what you have?_

**January 15th, 2011**

Rachel laid in bed, staring at the morning sunlight filtering in through her window. Suddenly a pillow whapped her in the face. Rachel sat up.

"The hell, Toni?" She blurted. She lived with Toni, but as far as the media knew, she was just a friend, not a talented singer and guitar player.

"Get up. You have stuff to do today!" Toni grins. Rachel walks into the bathroom, closely looking at the rings around her eyes. Toni opens the window, and chipy birdsong could be heard. It was January 15th.

"Toni, you know what day it is. I don't want to go on a blind lunch date, and then go to your concert tonight."

"What!" Toni shrieked.

"Okay, well, I want to go to your concert, but the blind date..?" Rachel grins at her friend.

"Rachel, every year you go all, 'I don't wanna feel the pain.' as you wallow around in the pain all day long. I'm giving you and out! YOU BETTER DAMN WELL TAKE IT!" Toni shouts at her, even though her face is grinning.

"Okay, okay. I will."

"Good, I thought I was going to have to call Travis for a minute there." Toni's carefree smile turns into a sly grin. Travis was Toni'a adorable body guard. He was muscualr, but not huge. He had shaggy brown hair and green eyes. Actually, Rachel had a lot more friends now, five years after the original 15th. She hadn't seen Tara since she saw her in the bar 10 monthes ago. Although, Rachel had moved from Chicago where she had worked, out here to New York City with Toni in that time.

"Wait- Why Travis? What does he have to do with-" Rachel's face pops into surprise. "AM I GOING ON A BLIND DATE WITH TRAVIS?" Toni's sly grin gets wider.

"Yup. I've seen how you look at him, Rachel. You're lucky I'm happy with Jason, or I'd be all over Travis." Toni laughs. Deciding agains punching Toni, Rachel sighs.

"Okay... So," Rachel's face blooms into a huge smile, "what should I wear?"

_Lyin' awake watchin' the sunlight_

_How the birds will sing_

_As I count the rings around my eyes_

_Constantly pushing the world I know aside_

_I don't even feel the pain,_

_I don't even want to try_

**April 18th, 2011**

Rachel enters the house, and collapses on the floor. April 18th sucked. She had turned twenty-four yesterday, and today, Travis broke up with her, and she lost her job at the local bar. She had an odd knack for working performing jobs at bars. Toni walks over, with a mug of herbal tea.

"Here. You must be freezing, it was really damn cold out today." Toni sets the mug on the floor next to Rachel. Rachel buries her face in the soft white carpet as her black cat, Dawn, padded over to her.

"The weather fits the day." She mumbles. Toni pulls her friend into a sitting position, and puts the warm mug in her hands.

"Why? What happened?" She asks, sitting down in front of her. Dawn climbs into her lap, mewing softly.

"Well, Travis broke up with me, and I lost my job."

"That blows. When are you going to let me help you get famous?" Toni asks, as Rachel downs the tea quickly, trying to dull the pain in her heart.

"Well, seeing as I've only ever wanted since I was sixteen was to be famous, I'm going to finally let you help me. After all, I'm not really going anywhere, am I?"

"Awesome! Here's news that will brighten your day. My next tour, which launches this weekend, is going to become a dual tour."

"Why is that good for me?"

"You're the second act."

"Toni, you've been practicing routines and stuff for months! I haven't."

"You were at each practice though. You learned the moves I did. So for the songs I'm not doing anymore, due to you taking the spot, you'll perform those dances with modifications so they fit your songs."

"I suppose it could work.."

"I know!"

_I'm lookin' for a way to become_

_The person that I dreamt of when I was sixteen_

_Oh, nothin' is ever enough_

_Ooh, baby, it ain't enough for what it may seem_

**October 6th, 2011**

Rachel's phone started ringing with an unknown number. Damn, her cell number must've leaked somehow. Well, it'll make some fan's day somewhere.

"Hello?"

"Rachel?"

"This is her."

"Oh wow. Hello. I- I have a few questions for you."

"Uh, sure."

"How do you feel? Really. How do you really feel?" The voice asked. Rachel could tell it was a guy. Rachel sighed. She felt compelled to answer it realistically.

"I'm just trying to make my dreams come true."

"But you've become famous, and your best friend is Toni Monetti. What dreams do you have left? Is it to find love?"

"Amazingly, no. I mean sure, love is great, but it'll come when the rest of my life is in order. No, my life is missing an important person. A person I pushed away when I was young. I'm trying to find them. I haven't been whole from the day I started pushing them away. I didn't realize it until after they had given up on me."

"That's rough. Thank you for the interview, Miss Roth."

"No problem." Rachel sighs, and hangs up. Strangely, she felt the reporter wouldn't throw her cell number around. However they did get her number, anyway.

_Sorry girl, tell a tale for me_

_'cause I'm wondering how you really feel_

_I'm a lonely girl, I'll tell a tale for you_

_'cause I'm just tryin' to make all my dreams come true_

**January 15th, 2012**

Toni sat across from Rachel in a local cafe. They often made appearences here, people stopped bothering them.

"You aren't being sulky over that again, are you?"

"I am, actually."

"Rachel!"

"It's January fifteenth. Yes, I'm being sulky."

"Rach, I love you. But honestly, it's been six years."

"He was my best friend from the day I met him. The first day of kindergarden. Twelve years. Until his 'friend' insulted me and I threw it away. Do you know, he called, texted, and showed up on my doorstep every day for a year? EVERY. DAY. I ignored him. Just shows my true colors, right?" Rachel says, staring down into her coffee cup. Toni's eyes softened.

"Oh Rachel... You never told me that. You also said Tara told you he broke Garfield's nose after what he said to you?"

"Yeah... Why?"

"Rachel. He did that every day for a year, stopped being friends with the people that hurt you, and broke the nose of the boy that made you cry. Hun, that isn't a best friend. That's a boy that's hoplessly, helplessly in love with his best friend." Toni says softly. Rachel's head drops into her hands.

"Even if, that doesn't make it any better. He was amazing, and I broke his heart and pushed him away."

"Rachel, you don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

" About the girl who has been drowning herself in hate for seven years."

"I know her, she's me."

"You know her. But not about her. She's been drowning herself in that hate because she's hopelessly, helplessly in love with the boy she shoved away."

"What? What the hell do you mean?"

"I mean, you're in love with Richard!"

"I am not."

"Rachel, you are so delusional. You act alone, but you have me, and a billion adoring fans. You act sad and pitiful, but you're rich and people everywhere love you. You've been in love with a guy for seven years and you can't even recognize it!" Toni says, rather loudly. Rachel stares after her as she leaves, shock written all over her face. A small girl with soft auburn hair and large blue eyes walks over to her, and taps her on her arm. Rachel gets up and squats down to her height.

"Hello," Rachel smiles.

"Hi! I know you, you sing my favorite songs!" She grins.

"Well thank you. I'm Rachel, but I guess you knew that."

"I did. I'm Carter. I need to tell you something."

"Okay Carter, what's up?" She asks. Carter leans forward, and puts her mouth close to Rachel's ear.

"I heard you talking with your friend. And I just need to tell you, I think she's right."

"About what?" Rachel asks. Carter steps back, and grins at Rachel.

"About the boy. You talk about him the way my mommy and daddy used to talk about each other. Even if you are sad, you can hear it the way you say his name. I think you love him."

"Oh... Why don't your mommy and daddy talk about each other like that anymore?"

"They died in a car accident. I live in that orphange down there." Carter smiles sadly, and points down the street, where a big, brick building sits.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Sweetie. How old are you?" Rachel tilts her head slightly Carter holds up four fingers.

"I'm four."

"How long have you lived there?"

"A few months. But nobody wants the older kids. They only want the babies. That's what Alyssa says. She's sixteen. But I like her. She's nice, when you get to know her."

"I see. Do you want me to walk you home?"

"Yes! Will you meet the kids in the orphanage? It's so sad there, and you'll take their minds of their hunger! It's a poor orphanage." Carter grins. Rachel smiles, thinking that this four year old is really damn smart. Rachel takes the girls hand, and they start walking towards the orphanage. Little did she know what she was getting herself into.

_Do you even know who you are?_

_Oh, yeah, yeah_

_A borrowed dream or a superstar?_

_Oh, I wanted to be a star_

_Is life good to you or is it bad?_

_I can't tell, I can't tell anymore_

_Do you even know what you have?_

_I guess not, oh I guess not_

**January 15, 2012**

Toni frowned at the twenty-four year old.

"I left you in a cafe, drinking coffee. You come home with the most adorable child ever. Care to explain?"  
Rachel grins, switching the hip she was carrying the beaming Carter on.

"Toni, this is Carter."

"Okay. Hi Carter. Why don't you go... watch tv. You know how to use it?" Toni says. Carter nods, and skips off into the family room, and turns on the tv, and fiddles with the remote until she finds a channel she likes.

"Isn't she just adorable?" Rachel grins.

"Uh, sure. I'm glad you seem happy... But, why the hell do you have her?"

"She's my daughter!" Rachel beams, and Toni has to lean on the wall for support.

"I'm sorry... WHAT?" Toni somewhat shouts. Carter pokes her auburn head into the hallway they're speaking in.

"Go back to the tv, Carter." Rachel says, and her head pops back into the family room.

"Kitchen. Now. Explain." Toni says. Rachel rolls her eyes, and walks into the kitchen, putting a pot of water for tea on the stove.

"Well, after you left, Carter came and talked to me. She really shed some light on me, Toni. And she's four. Anyway, she lived in the orphanage down the street. After she introduced me to everyone in the orphanage... Toni, I fell in love with her sweet soul. I adopted her. And made a very large donation. It was a poor orphanage."

"Exactly how much are we talking?"

"A million."

"You can't toss money around like that!"

"I can. I still have money, Toni. I have it, I don't need it. They do." Rachel crosses her arms. Toni rolls her eyes.

"You do realize you have a concert tonight. We have to leave for the airport in- Oh, fifteen minutes."

"My bags have been packed for a while. And she doesn't have anything more than the stuffed panda she brought with her."

"Your just a ray of damn sunshine, aren't you?"

"This is the happiest I've been since I realized what I did. I mean, I was happy when I met you, any time we spent together and when I got famous... But Toni, this is the best I've felt. I love the adorable little thing."

"Okay... You're happy and that's all that matters." Toni rolls her eyes. Well, she'll be too preoccupied to ruin the surprise I have for her, Toni thinks.

_Do you even know who you are?_

_Oh, I'm tryin' to find_

_A rising dream or a fallen star?_

_Oh, I have a all these dreams_

_Is life good to you or is it bad?_

_I can't tell anymore_

_Do you even know what you have?_

_No, no_

**January 15th, 2012**

Rachel's face must have been filled with pure shock. She had gotten off stage, and in into the wing, Carter had run into her arms. When Rachel finally opened her eyes, to remind herself this was real, she was staring into gorgeous cerulean blue eyes. Eyes she recognized, even seven years later. She had to remind herself not to drop Carter. Slowly she set down the four year old, who looked between the two of them, and quickly ran over to Toni.

"Richard." Rachel breathed. Richard's broke into a huge smile, and his strong arms wrapped around Rachel. Her arms snaked around his neck, and she was grinning ear-to-ear.

"Rachel, you have no idea how much I've missed you."

"If Toni got you to do this, then she told you about me. So we both know, I do."

"Rachel, that article that was written about you... You're dreams... They weren't true yet because someone was missing..."

"Richard, I was talking about you."

"Rachel, this day, six years ago. It was the day it happened."

"I know. If you ask Toni, she can recall each of the days. The first one we were only roomies, she left me under the bed, cutting my wrists, she thought I was a freak. The second one she understood, and left me alone. The third one she ripped me out from under the bed, during our last year of college on the fourth one, nothing really happened. The fifth Toni had me on a blind date. And here we are."

"Rach, you're rambling." Richard smiles, a small laugh escaping his lips. Six years of not talking, and he still knew her so well.

"Sorry." She whispers in his ear, still having her arms around his neck.

"Richard, I have to know. Why did you keep coming after me for an entire year?"

"Because after Garfield was an ass to you and I broke his nose, I realized why it irritated me so much that he made you cry."

"And why is that?" Rachel loosens her arms a bit so she can see his face.

"Rachel, I realized I was in love with you." Richard says, staring her in the eye. Through the corner of her eye, Rachel can see Toni jumping up and down, looking victorious. Rachel's face blooms into a smile.

"I'm so sorry. I pushed you away, this is my fault. And you're probably married or something now."

"Rachel, if I was married, would I have my arms around your waist?" Richard's cocky grin makes her tilt her head.

"I... I guess not. Why did you never get married or anything..?"

"Rachel, in all reality, I'm only twenty four. And in truth, there was one girl I could never get over."

"Is it some crazy college girlfriend?" Rachel asks. Richard rolls his eyes, blinking at her.

"No, it's you! You're so air headed sometimes." Richard grins.

"Well I couldn't be all, 'Awh is it me!' because that's just wrong."

"True. So, uh.. Rachel..."

"What?"

"You never said how you felt..." Richard looks away, biting his lip. Rachel thinks back to Carter and Toni this morning.

"I... I love you, Richard."

"I love you too, Rachel." Richard grins, his cerulean eyes lighting up. He pulls the young purple haired haired girl into a kiss, both their eyes fluttering shut. When they do break apart, Toni walks over to Rachel, carrying Carter, who managed to fall asleep.

"Told ya so." Toni says. Rachel rolls her eyes, and takes Carter in her arms. Richard blinks at the small red-headed girl.

"Who's this?" He asks. Rachel grins sheepishly.

"My daughter. I adopted her today.."

"Wow, most guys have to deal with impulse shoe-shoppers. You're an impulse child-buyer." Richard grins. Rachel swats him, grinning.

"I'll tell you the story later, but you're going to love this little girl when you hear it."

"I'm sure I will." Richard smiles.  
Rachel couldn't be happier. All her dreams had come true.

_Do you even know what you are?_

_A rising dream or a fallen star?_

_Is life good to you or is it bad?_

* * *

Hope you liked it, it took me forever. Well, please review, I'd like to know what you thought.


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